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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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What Your Child Deserves (1)
‘Children are a gift from the Lord.’


Psalm 127:3
The UCB Word for Today - 26 Nov 2015


Your children deserve certain things, like: 1) Time. Not leftover time at the end of the day, but prioritised time.

If your life is ruled by a schedule and your children aren’t on it, do something – quickly.

Otherwise there’ll come a day when you’re not included in their schedule. Simply watching television together for three hours won’t cut it; you must be ‘emotionally present’.

Sometimes that means letting them see your fears and insecurities, even as they witness your delight and appreciation of them. 2) Openness.

There’s so much our children can teach us about themselves, about ourselves, and about who God is.

Once we realise we don’t have all the answers, we become open to allowing God to speak to us through our children.

That kind of receptivity strengthens their faith, helps them remain teachable, and also keeps us young at heart. 3) Structure.

It’s vital, during the formative years, to establish rules and maintain boundaries.

Children need guidelines and a framework to feel secure. In the early years this includes things like having an established bedtime, then moving it back as they get older.

This helps them understand that age brings freedom, but not all at once, because freedom brings responsibility and they’re not as ready to handle it as they think.

Don’t try to be your child’s best friend, or look to them to meet your emotional needs. Their shoulders aren’t broad enough to carry that load.

Be confident in God, and in who you are. Seek outside encouragement from healthy sources. In short, strive to become the firm, gentle parent your child deserves.

Dan 3-4, 2 Pet 3

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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What Your Child Deserves (2)
‘Bring them…so I may bless them.’

Genesis 48:9
The UCB Word for Today - 27 Nov 2015


Here are three more things your children deserve from you: 1) Forgive them, and be willing to ask for their forgiveness.


By doing this you’re teaching them that: a) We must all deal with the consequences of our actions. And that when we do, we grow. b) Failing doesn’t make you a failure; it’s just part of learning and maturing.


It comes with the turf. c) We should be quick to extend to others the same grace that has so often been extended to us. 2) Separate the baggage. One man became anxious and depressed as his son approached his twelfth birthday.



Shortly after the boy’s birthday party, the father was thumbing through a photo album from his own childhood.



That’s when it dawned on him that he was twelve when his father abandoned the family and then killed himself. Watching his son approach the same age made him afraid because it reopened old wounds – unhealed ones.



A caring counsellor helped him regain his perspective and peace by helping him realise he was a very different man from his father, and he wasn’t about to abandon his family. 3) Bless them. ‘“They are the sons God has given me here,” Joseph said to his father. Then Israel said, “Bring them to me so I may bless them”’ (v. 9 NIV 2011 Edition).


The principles you live by and the blessings you enjoy are meant to be passed on to your children and grandchildren.

Whether it’s expressing what’s in your heart, or sending a note or email to say you’re proud of them, bless your children at every possible opportunity.


Dan 5-7, 1 John 1

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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What Your Child Deserves (3)
‘…that it may go well with you and your children...’

Deuteronomy 4:40
The UCB Word for Today - 28 Nov 2015


Sometimes we get scared because our kids remind us so much of ourselves.

We see in them the same fears and proclivities that we have struggled with.

We watch them veering off life’s highway in some of the same spots where we crashed and burned, and it’s difficult not to want to save them.

But sometimes we can’t. They’ve grown up with their own mindset, strengths, and dreams.

And if the parable of the prodigal son teaches us anything, it’s that good parents can raise children who are only capable of learning the hard way. So what can you do? Pray for them – and ‘be there’ when they return.


Many a successful adult was once a prodigal saved by the prayers of a parent who refused to give up on them. If what you’re doing is taking you away from prayer time for your children, your priorities are wrong.

There’s nothing more valuable than the time you spend before God interceding on their behalf. You say, ‘But I don’t know how to pray.’ Try this: ‘Father, I’m concerned about the direction my children are taking.

Right now they seem beyond the reach of my voice and influence. But You can reach them. You can remind them of what they’ve been taught – and initiate the circumstances that will bring them back to You.


Your Word says if I obey You, things will go well for me and my children (Deuteronomy 4:40).

So I stand on Your promise, believing they’ll choose to serve You and walk in Your blessing for the rest of their lives. In Christ’s name I pray. Amen.’

Dan 8-10, 1 John 2

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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When You Belittle, You Become Little
‘Encourage…and build up one another.’

1 Thessalonians 5:11

The UCB Word for Today - 29 Nov 2015



Here are four questions you need to be able to answer: 1) Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? 2) Are your expectations so high that you focus on people’s shortcomings instead of their strengths? 3) When somebody speaks well of a person you don’t particularly like, do you feel the need to inject a disparaging remark? 4)


Are you so insecure and lacking in self-worth that you only feel good about yourself by putting others down? Well, how did you do on the test?

If you’re not four-for-four, it’s time to spend time with God in prayer and ask Him to help you change your attitude and what comes out of your mouth.


Paul says, ‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen’ (Ephesians 4:29 NIV 2011 Edition).

Words are like hammers: they can be used to break down or build up. It all depends on the person swinging the hammer! It’s just as easy to be part of the construction crew as it is to be a member of the wrecking crew. Make a habit of encouraging your family and your friends.

Let your wife know she’s the only woman in the world for you. Express appreciation for your husband’s care and sense of responsibility.

Applaud your teenager for avoiding drugs and alcohol.


Thank your friends for keeping your secrets! Accept people as they are, and resist the temptation to constantly ‘fix’ something about them.

Remember, you only have them for a short time!


Luke 22:47-71, Psalms 120-122

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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Take Time to Rest and Sharpen
‘Come with me…to a quiet place and get some rest.’

Mark 6:31
The UCB Word for Today - 30 Nov 2015


A competition was held between two men to see who could chop down the most trees in a single day.


One man was older and more experienced, while the other was younger and less experienced. And that’s where the difference showed up.


The younger man spent eight hours chopping down trees, and at the end of the day he had a total of twenty-five.

Believing the older man lacked stamina and youth, he sat down, fully confident he would win. Meanwhile the older man, who had taken a ten-minute break each hour, ended his day by chopping down forty trees. In shock the younger man asked, ‘How is this possible, old man? I didn’t stop.


You stopped every hour for ten minutes and yet you chopped down almost twice as many trees as I did.’ The older man replied, ‘Every hour I sat down for ten minutes and did two things. First, I took time to rest and recharge my batteries. Second, I took time to sharpen my axe.


Yes, you were working hard but you were working with a dull axe.’ There’s an important lesson here for you. In order to succeed at what God has called you to do in life, you must always do these two things: 1) Make time for rest and renewal.


You cannot always be giving out; you must also stop and take in. That’s where prayer and Bible reading come in: they restore what life depletes. 2) Stay sharp.


When your axe is dull it requires more energy and produces fewer results. So take time to rest and sharpen.


Dan 11-12, 1 John 3

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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Stop Being So Critical (1)
‘The sin we have so foolishly committed.’

Numbers 12:11
The UCB Word for Today - 1 Dec 2015



When Miriam criticised her brother Moses because of the wife he chose, the Lord heard and she was smitten with leprosy.


Maybe you grew up in a family that was forever finding fault, and now you hear the same tone in how you talk to your children.


You can’t enjoy God’s blessings because you’ve been programmed to inspect, nitpick, and form opinions – usually negative ones.


The Bible says, ‘If you want to enjoy life and see…happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil’ (1 Peter 3:10 NLT).


The definition of the word ‘criticism’ (dwelling upon the perceived faults of another with no view to their good) should cause you to pause and think.


First, there’s the word perceived. Often your perceptions aren’t accurate; there are always circumstances you don’t understand. Next we come to the words dwelling upon.


We’re inclined to walk through life saying, ‘That’s not right,’ or ‘I wouldn’t do it that way.’ You say, ‘I’m an analytical person, it’s how God made me.’


That’s fine, but the problem comes when you choose to dwell on your observations – when you can’t set them aside. You say, ‘But how can I help somebody if I don’t dwell on what they’re doing?’ That’s why the last part of the definition – with no view to their good – is so important. It’s not wrong to dwell upon somebody’s faults, provided you do it in a non-judgmental way with a view to helping them find a solution.

Does that mean it’s okay to discuss it with a third party?

Only if you can end the conversation by saying, ‘Let’s pray about it, keep it in confidence, and try to help.’


Hosea 1-4, 1 John 4

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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Stop Being So Critical (2)
‘Keep your tongue from speaking evil.’

1 Peter 3:10
The UCB Word for Today - 2 Dec 2015



God dealt with Moses because of some of the mistakes he made. In fact, one of them kept him from entering the Promised Land. Nevertheless, God wouldn’t permit anybody else to criticise Moses – not even his sister Miriam.


So what can you learn from this? 1) We’re all capable of harbouring a critical attitude. Miriam had great qualities.



She saved Moses’ life as a child, and she wrote a song of praise Israel used to celebrate the crossing of the Red Sea. But she paid a high price for her critical attitude – leprosy. 2) When you’re resentful you become critical. ‘Miriam…began to talk against Moses because of his Cushite wife’ (Numbers 12:1 NIV 2011 Edition).



But was that the real issue? No. ‘They said, “Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us also?”’ (v. 2 NKJV). Moses’ wife was just a diversion; the real issue was Moses’ success.



Their beef was: ‘How come he gets all the attention?’. 3) Anytime you succeed you’ll be criticised.


The Bible says, ‘Moses was very humble’ (v. 3 NKJV), yet even he couldn’t escape the pain inflicted by self-appointed critics.


And you’re no different; as long as you’re alive somebody will find fault with what you’re doing. Brush it off and keep going. 4) If you’ve been critical, you need to repent.


When Aaron acknowledged, ‘We have acted foolishly…we have sinned’ (v. 11 NASB), God showed mercy and healed Miriam.


Most of us would rather classify criticism as a weakness, but from God’s perspective it’s a genuine, bona fide, registered sin.

And there’s only one way to deal with sin – repent and stop committing it.


Hosea 5-6, 1 John 5

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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Stop Being So Critical (3)
‘Take delight in honouring each other.’

Romans 12:10
The UCB Word for Today - 3 Dec 2015


Having a critical attitude may not destroy your relationship with God, but it’ll definitely hurt your capacity to experience His love, His presence, and His blessing.


Notice, it was God who smote Miriam with leprosy. She started out by criticising her brother Moses, and ended up feeling the consequences in her relationship with the Lord.


Why? Because God pays attention to the way we treat each other! Maybe you’re wondering, ‘Why would God make such a big deal out of this?’. Because when you choose to sin, you choose to suffer.



Everything God classifies as sin is hurtful to you – everything. When God says, ‘Don’t,’ what He really means is, ‘Don’t hurt yourself.’ And when He says, ‘Don’t criticise,’ He’s not trying to deprive you of satisfaction.


He’s saying that having a critical attitude goes against who He made you to be, and what you’re called to do. Just as fish were made to swim and birds were made to fly, you were made to live in fellowship with God – and a critical spirit hinders that fellowship.



Even people who don’t claim to be particularly religious are cognisant of the negative effects of criticism. Dr David Fink, author of Release from Nervous Tension, studied thousands of mentally and emotionally disturbed people.



He worked with two groups: a stressed-out group and a stress-free one. Eventually one fact emerged: the stressed-out group was composed of habitual fault-finders and constant critics of people and things around them.


On the other hand, the stress-free group was loving and accepting of others. There’s no doubt about it, the habit of criticising is a self-destructive way to live. Don’t go there.

Hosea 7-8, 2 John

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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Stop Being So Critical (4)
‘If I were…trying to please men.’

Galatians 1:10
The UCB Word for Today - 4 Dec 2015


Some important observations: 1) Criticism is often ego-based. Oswald Chambers wrote, ‘Beware of anything that puts you in the place of the superior person.’ And that’s exactly what criticism does: it highlights you as the one who ‘knows’. Not only that, it gives you the satisfaction of shining the spotlight on others.



People find it much harder to see your life when you’re shining the glaring light of criticism on theirs.

When you live this way your attitude says, ‘If I can’t make it in this world by what I do, I’ll make it by knowing what you should do better.’ James writes, ‘These things ought not so to be’ (James 3:10 KJV).


And Paul writes, ‘Love each other…and take delight in honouring each other’ (Romans 12:10 NLT). 2)

Criticism can break hearts. Imagine how Moses felt when his brother and sister suddenly turned on him. Because the people closest to us know the details of our lives, we’re always vulnerable to their criticism. Sometimes as parents we leave our children’s lives in shambles by creating a home that’s rife with criticism.

Maybe as you read these words you hear the voice of your harshest critic – a parent who constantly put you down.

A parent whose words still ring in your memory: ‘You were never any good’; ‘You’ll never amount to anything.’ 3) How should you respond to criticism? Paul answers: ‘If I were…trying to please men, I would not be a…servant of Christ’ (Galatians 1:10 NASB). Instead of listening to your critics, centre your attention on what God thinks of you and your life will take an upswing. In the final analysis, His is the only opinion that counts.


Hosea 9-10, 3 John

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TODAY'S WORD FOR TODAY

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Stop Being So Critical (5)
‘Who are you to judge your neighbour?’

James 4:12
The UCB Word for Today - 5 Dec 2015


Nobody wants to spend time with someone who monopolises the conversation by updating them on their top-ten-people-to-criticise list.


Staying home and watching old movie reruns is more appealing than going to that kind of party! It’s a hard truth to hear, but the people you need most are the ones who’ll avoid you when you become known as a fault-finder.


Sometimes criticism is inadvertent; on a better day, led by God’s Spirit and focused on what’s positive, you’d never say such things.

Notice what Aaron said: ‘We have acted foolishly’ (Numbers 12:11 NASB). He didn’t try to defend his position by saying, ‘Yes, Moses did marry the wrong person,’ or ‘We deserve more of the limelight.’ No, he realised his mistake, repented, and retreated from it. And you must do that too.


Why? Because criticism blocks the flow of God’s blessing in your life! Oswald Chambers wrote, ‘Whenever you’re in a critical temper, it’s impossible to enter into communion with God.’ Stop and ask yourself: ‘Is the momentary relief I get from criticising others worth losing my sense of God’s presence?’.

To regain that sense of His presence you need to confess and forsake your critical attitude, then replace it with a more gracious and loving one.

Today, get down on your knees and pray: ‘Lord, forgive me for thinking my perspective is always right. I acknowledge that as arrogance. Give me grace in dealing with others – the same grace I’ve received from You.

Help me to accept our differences and not demand that everyone see things exactly as I do. Give me victory over my critical attitude. In Jesus’ name. Amen.’

Hosea 11-12, Jude