[andyud]

@prophet Bankole sir,i love God with all my heart,if he says i should marry a blind today i have no mind for questions,now if you can remember when i used to have BBM conversation with you how God warned me seriously about a lady and went on to show me how i was condemned to hell.i also have other friends i prefer to my fiancee in terms of marriage bt God preferred her,do you think sir that i will have peace in my marriage if i go for my choice and then ask God to approve her bcos i love her instead of going for what God is showing me?

[ebankole]

The bible says, obedient is better than sacrifice.
The lord will is and will always be the best.

But remember...? you can always ask for more? Love and communication is very important, Which wouthout love for the lady involve you is at zero level?

Belief me you, his will, option is always the best. Peace, grace and prosperity abound when you obey.

But one thing you must take note is that, there will always be another better option, but still? The lord will you must follow(if you want to prosper or who ever you choose to marry) if you want to experience peace in you marriage and prosper.


It's not about an individual nor a particular lady. Or what if she chooses not to agree with you or belief in God despite the fact God approves of her?

Indeed God has given us that privilege to say ' YES or NO. But always remember? His purpose and wills for our lives will always be the best.
Bless u

[andyud]

I am grateful sir

[MrsS]

Yes my sister,God created us and by his love gave us freedome to make decision bt we have seen the consequences of those that foregone God's directions and followed their will,examples are Adam and Eve,action of Israelites towards cleb and Joshua after spying the promised land etc.how do i honestly differentiate these to avoid been disobedient to his instruction?

My broda,  when your heart is sold out to God, & want to please Him in all you do, there will not be confusion when it comes to obeying His voice & instructions. it becomes like a second nature & easier to do. 
Also, when you genuinely ask God about His opinion about a matter, He will answer you by all means- either through dreams, His word, circumstances or even using other people.

Let me give you an example: about 2012 i was not close to God like am now.so hearing Him was a bit confusing. There is this guy i was interested in, and he wanted to get married quickly. I wanted to get married too,but not that quick. When i  told Uchenna my friend she suggested we call a prophet in Nigeria so i know its God's opinion. I did. He told me yes, the guy was my husband, and i was to marry him.

However, things were not going well with the guy- he was very selfish, and the dreams i had about him were not good (God has been stressing things to me in dreams since i was about 13 or so) . I did not have total peace about him. We broke up- i had said something that he did not like, and he wasn't willing to forgive me. It was a small thing ooh.
I imagined a Christian that wouldn't be quick to forgive, and something in me was not right. 

 A few months after we broke up,he got married to another girl.  i just saw the news on facebook.
Am not sure what transpired in the marriage ( but i used to have dreams that he had divorced etc), but a few months into the marriage, he was writing to me, and wanted us to be friends again. i was shocked.i ignored him completely.

By this time, i had moved on, and forgotten all about him... I thank God that he saved me from marrying such a type of man.

please remember that if everything had gone well, i would have married him. But God orchestrated things to show me that he wasn't the best for me.  (in fact, what i wanted in my ideal man, this guy did not even have much of it.)

in this case, the circumstances helped me a great deal.So if you want to avoid confusion, pay attention to the inner peace in your heart about a situation. That's the Holy Spirit guiding you.(And your dreams, & spiritual leaders too )

God will surely find a way to make it clear to you. He loves you, and will not leave you without direction. :)

[nonop]

Andyud and MrsS I agree with you completely. Its about being sold out to God. Jesus says in Matthew 16:24-25“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it", the key phrases being "deny himself", He says he who tries to save his life will lose it. That is all it takes to be submitted to God, it doesn't matter what you want or prefer but only His will. The best thing about God is that He knows the future, He knows what will happen and when He chooses someone for you He knows what that person's role will be in your life in the long run. You may think you like such and such person but in the end that person will lead to your destruction. I also am in a situation where I like this particular person and he likes me as well (a lot), but we (both myself and him) got word from the Lord that the Lord wants somebody else for him. I have to say the news were terribly hard to take but we are committed to do the Lord's will because He knows better. Even now my flesh still has difficulty coming to terms with the whole situation, but I trust that the Lord is Lord over all things and would not lead us astray. I still maintain I'd rather be unhappy now outside a marriage than be stuck with the wrong person (again), and probably end up going through the whole situation I went through again. For a committed Christian I think it is more important to marry someone who is just as committed as you are to the Lord and who better to know such a person than the Lord Himself. Its important because after marriage all the butterflies and the appetite that disappears when you are with the person goes away, and what's left are your values and the deep seated commitment that you have. Marriage actually exposes all the things that are not right with each of you and the reality of who you've married sets in. I guess it would also be easy, as well, if you are having problems to go back to the matchmaker (God) and say Lord you chose this person for me help me out. Thats just my two cents about the matter.

[MrsS]

Thank you nonop.

You hit the nail on the head.
When God speaks, and makes it clear to you that that person is not the best for you,
obey and let go. it will hurt at first, but you will thank Him later.

I have seen many cases where people just ignored God's voice through people,dreams, His words etc
and went ahead and got married just because they were in love. Few years down the road, the marriages crumbled, yet God had made it clear to not get married to that person to begin with.

A case that hurt me so much is that of my friend that was hitting 30 &wanted to get married.But the guy was not even a committed Christian,yet she was.He at one point told her that he did not find her attractive enough (both were white). I told this lady more than once that she was making a mistake marrying this guy.Even her pastor had told her but she insisted.

But as you know, we are free moral agents. God will not force you down the aisle. so she went ahead & married him (she did not invite me to wedding ooh..it was a small, secret one) She was still my friend though.They had a baby shortly after.

Meanwhile, the marriage was tougher than she had thought.(i had dreams where they were divorcing & went ahead to encourage her to work on it etc) .She later opened up to me.The man was mean- wouldn't help her around yet she was sickly.He wanted her to get additional education too.she ended up so stressed, within no time, had a terrible disease (husband never pushed her to get treated) which got complicated to cancer. She died shortly after. :(

It hurt me so much but it was a big lesson for me. When God does not give you a go-head in any decision- however great or badly you want it, obey Him.Trust that He loves you very much & has your best interests at heart.
If your heart is inclined to Him, it will work out for your good (Romans 8:28) You will thank Him later.

[andyud]

Hmmm i used to think nonop is a brother oh,well i really appreciate you all moreso ur contributions in this issues,so my sister @mrs,we can conclude now that eventhough God have given us freedom to make choices (ie to obey or disobey him) its always better to follow his directives.Una do well once again.

[MrsS]

Yes, Andyud.
As a Christian, God and His word should be your final authority in all the decisions you make.

We took this whole issue from the perspective of marriage but it applies in all areas of life really.
There are some cases where where God presents options before you, and you have to chose among them.(like different marriage partners for my case).You still have to rely on God's opinion for the final choice.But if its a directive/command from the Lord, you don't have to debate about it.You obey immediately. Things like no fornication,stealing,murder etc are directives, yet Christians still choose to disobey them.Things like who to marry, where to live/go to school,what business ventures to undertake etc are optional

In summary, you are an adult now.You are probably living on your own & can make your own decisions.
But there are some things you may need consult your dad about. He will advise you to do A, but you may feel B is best for you. If you really respect & honor your dad's opinion so much, you will do A just as he said. But at the end of the day, the ball is in your court.

God is like that too.If you really honor Him, His will/opinion will influence your decision. You will get in a habit of consulting Him on every issue/decision of your life  :)

[opison]

Please May I know what it means to see a very large quantity of fried beautiful ground full in my two trouser pockets.

[ebankole]

Fried what,Can you expatiate ?
Bless u